2) In a Monica Lewinsky skit from the 1990s, the actress playing Monica Lewinsky orders a Bartles & James in a bar. She then explains to her friends, “I love BJ‘s.” And anyone watching at home thinks of Bill Clinton and smiles.
Friday, May 20, 2011
TOP 5 SNL JOKES & SKETCHES THAT SNUCK PAST THE CENSORS
By Barry Dutter
1) The classic “Lord & Lady Douche Bag” sketch from 1980. The basic premise of the sketch, written by Buck Henry, was that various nobles meet for a dinner party in the year 1730. Each person at the party has something named after them. Lord Salisbury has the Salisbury Steak. The Earl of Sandwich has the Sandwich. And Lord & Lady Douche Bag have, well, an invention that they don’t want to leak just yet. Never before have the words “douche bag” been used so many times on one of the Big Three networks.
2) In a Monica Lewinsky skit from the 1990s, the actress playing Monica Lewinsky orders a Bartles & James in a bar. She then explains to her friends, “I love BJ‘s.” And anyone watching at home thinks of Bill Clinton and smiles.
3) The “Colonel Angus” sketch (2009). Christopher Walken plays a Civil War soldier who goes by the name of “Colonel Angus” -- a name that sounds an awful lot like a certain term describing a sexual act that is greatly enjoyed by women. This is a one-joke skit, with that one joke repeated about 20 times -- until we learn the Colonel’s first name is Enal -- at which point, we get a bunch of jokes about Enal Angus, which sounds like another sex act approached from the opposite end.
4) The Sofa Kings Sketch (2007): When I lived in Florida years ago, there was a bar called “Sofa Kings. “ The tagline for the bar was that this place is “sofa king good,” a play on the phrase “so fucking good.” In 2007, SNL decided to take that old schoolyard joke and make a skit about it. Another one-joke skit, seemingly done just to see if they could sneak it past the censors. They succeeded. SNL had similar success with Alec Baldwin’s Schwetty Balls sketches and Betty White talking about her moist muffins.
5) The all-time classic from 1977: “Planet of the Men vs. the Planet of the Women,” a skit about a battle of the sexes -- in space! Aboard the penis-shaped male spaceship: Host Hugh Hefner as Captain Macho. Dan Aykroyd as Lt. Testosterone. John Belushi as Corporal Hardin. Over in the donut-shaped women’s ship, Gilda Radner is Lt. Areola..... Well, you get the idea. The ships collide with the male ship penetrating the female ship, in a rather phallic manner. The women are disappointed with the size of the male ship, but they hope the men will attack again in half an hour. The men acknowledge that the female ship will never be the same again after they penetrate it, and they think about making another go at it. But all the men fell asleep before that happens. It’s funny because it’s true!
2) In a Monica Lewinsky skit from the 1990s, the actress playing Monica Lewinsky orders a Bartles & James in a bar. She then explains to her friends, “I love BJ‘s.” And anyone watching at home thinks of Bill Clinton and smiles.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
My THOR REVIEW
By Barry Dutter
Rather than write a traditional review, I decided to just list a bunch of random thoughts. Overall I liked the movie, but as a longtime comics fan, naturally I had my quibbles…
1) It’s possibly the best Marvel movie after the first IRON MAN.
2) Chris Hemsworth is perfect for this role -- the best casting on a Marvel super-hero since Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. Hemsworth brings the right amount of strength, charm and dignity to the part. It’s nice to have a Marvel super-hero movie that doesn’t, at some point, treat the hero like a joke. (I will still never forgive Hollywood for such atrocities as: a pigeon pooping on the THING’s shoulder in FANTASTIC FOUR, SPIDER-MAN delivering pizzas in SPIDER-MAN 2, etc.)
3) The SHIELD agent character who was in IRON MAN 2 and appears in this movie, as well, is kind of bland. (I’m not talking about SAM JACKSON as NICK FURY -- he’s cool. I’m talking about the white guy. I can’t even remember his name!) They really should have tried to make this character more interesting -- perhaps basing him on an actual character from the comics. I mean, Dum Dum Dugan or Jasper Sitwell would be more interesting that this no-name pencil-pusher.
4)With Hemsworth, the newly buff CHRIS EVANS as CAPTAIN AMERICA, and RYAN REYNOLDS as GREEN LANTERN, this is the first summer ever where all the major super-heroes did not need to have muscles painted onto their costumes. Perhaps we’ve finally reached the end of the era of wimpy super-heroes that began with MICHEAL KEATON in BATMAN.
5) The movie should have been longer. I would have liked to have seen the story fleshed out more. I mean, THOR does not exactly have what you call, um, what do you call those things ... a plot! THOR is banished to Earth, he finds his hammer, big fight, the end. I would like to have seen an extended sequence with THOR trying to adjust to his new life on Earth.
6) The romance with Natalie Portman should have been given a lot more room. I mean, Thor’s feelings for Jane Foster are a crucial plot point -- the whole movie hinges on him falling in love with this girl -- and yet, we are never given any reason why he falls in love with her, other than the fact that she’s hot. Overall, the movie seems to have had about a half hour worth of story cut out of it. Guess we gotta wait for the DVD.
7) The HAWKEYE cameo redefined the word “gratuitous.”
8) It’s great that they showcased the FROST GIANTS, but I didn’t hear any mention of the FLAME GIANTS. I really feel they were slighted! Somewhere, SURTUR is not happy!
9) A couple of the shots of THOR flying reminded me of the first SUPERMAN movie from 1980 in terms of the quality of the SFX.
10) I got a little nervous when I saw that J. Michael Straczynski had come up with the story for this movie. After all, his major contribution to the THOR mythos is having the city of Asgard floating a mile above the Earth. Not one of his better ideas.
11) The recent Marvel movies seem to be hewing closer to the ULTIMATE versions of the Marvel heroes than the original versions. This means that SHIELD plays a huge part in every origin story, and the origins of HULK and CAPTAIN AMERICA are forever linked. I liked the origins from the 1960s better, when you didn’t have SHIELD sticking their noses in everything. I mean, in the original THOR origin, the guy just finds his hammer in the forest. He didn’t have to break into a SHIELD base to get it back. Basically the Marvel Comics of the 60s were about ordinary people coming to grips with fantastic powers. The Marvel Comics of the Ultimate Universe are about a super-secret government agency learning of the existence of various super-powered individuals and finding ways to contain and control them. It was a lot more fun before the government got involved.
12) If Odin strips THOR of all his powers before banishing him to Earth, how come THOR is able to summon a storm when he sneaks into the SHIELD camp?
13) I like that Stan Lee’s character this time around is listed as “STAN THE MAN” in the credits.
14) I get that the filmmakers were trying to do a “King Arthur/Sword in the Stone” homage with Thor’s hammer, but really, it was not necessary to have the hammer embedded in the ground. The whole point of Thor’s hammer is that no one can lift it except Thor when he is at his most worthy. Rather than having people try to pry Thor’s hammer out from a rock, they could have just had people trying to pick the hammer up off the ground. (Remember, not even the HULK can lift THOR’s hammer off the ground!) Screenwriters think they are being clever when they take an old myth and try to tie it in to another myth. It’s not clever, it’s just lazy.
15) The DESTROYER kicked ass! He looked exactly the way I remember him from the comics. Well done!
16) Thor overhears a trucker mention a fallen satellite in the desert and instantly knows this must be his hammer. Wha? Huh? How does Thor even know what a satellite is?
17) Kudos to the Marvel marketing people for not using the slogan “It’s hammer time!” and for not using the M.C. Hammer song in the movie. (Look, when it came time to find a theme song for the IRON MAN movies, they just used an old Black Sabbath song called “Iron Man.” It didn’t exactly take a lot of originality to think of that one!)
18) The bit about Natalie P. hitting Thor twice with her SUV was a little too cutesy. Once was enough.
19) I don’t think that even a de-powered THOR could be taken out by a taser gun. After all, he was still strong enough to be hit twice by a car and walk away unscathed.
20) Are SHIELD agents so dumb that they will release a dangerous prisoner to anyone who wanders into their camp with a fake driver’s license? Very sloppy plotting.
21) Why does Thor copy IRON MAN’s pose on the movie poster?
22) It’s always fun to sit through the end credits of a Marvel movie to get to the bonus scene, but why do the credits have to be so long? Sheesh, that was a long wait!
23) The day after THOR premiered, the SyFy channel aired a cheesy, low-budget made-for-TV movie called ALMIGHTY THOR. Their THOR had blonde hair. Strange -- the THOR of Norse myth always had RED hair and a full red beard. How did SyFy ever get the idea of doing a blonde version of THOR?
24) All in all, Marvel’s THOR is a fun movie, and a solid introduction to the character to those unfamiliar with him. Now that we got the origin out of the way, next time, we can see him spending a lot more time with his cape and hammer!
25) When the cast of the AVENGERS movie was announced last year, my thought at the time was: Other than Robert Downey Jr., the rest of the cast is very low in star-wattage. With the release of THOR, and the rise of Jeremy Renner’s profile after his role in Ben Affleck’s THE TOWN, suddenly the cast of the AVENGERS is looking more and more impressive. Will Chris “Captain America” Evans have what it takes to lead these guys in the AVENGERS? We’ll find out next summer!
1) It’s possibly the best Marvel movie after the first IRON MAN.
2) Chris Hemsworth is perfect for this role -- the best casting on a Marvel super-hero since Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. Hemsworth brings the right amount of strength, charm and dignity to the part. It’s nice to have a Marvel super-hero movie that doesn’t, at some point, treat the hero like a joke. (I will still never forgive Hollywood for such atrocities as: a pigeon pooping on the THING’s shoulder in FANTASTIC FOUR, SPIDER-MAN delivering pizzas in SPIDER-MAN 2, etc.)
4)With Hemsworth, the newly buff CHRIS EVANS as CAPTAIN AMERICA, and RYAN REYNOLDS as GREEN LANTERN, this is the first summer ever where all the major super-heroes did not need to have muscles painted onto their costumes. Perhaps we’ve finally reached the end of the era of wimpy super-heroes that began with MICHEAL KEATON in BATMAN.
5) The movie should have been longer. I would have liked to have seen the story fleshed out more. I mean, THOR does not exactly have what you call, um, what do you call those things ... a plot! THOR is banished to Earth, he finds his hammer, big fight, the end. I would like to have seen an extended sequence with THOR trying to adjust to his new life on Earth.
6) The romance with Natalie Portman should have been given a lot more room. I mean, Thor’s feelings for Jane Foster are a crucial plot point -- the whole movie hinges on him falling in love with this girl -- and yet, we are never given any reason why he falls in love with her, other than the fact that she’s hot. Overall, the movie seems to have had about a half hour worth of story cut out of it. Guess we gotta wait for the DVD.
7) The HAWKEYE cameo redefined the word “gratuitous.”
8) It’s great that they showcased the FROST GIANTS, but I didn’t hear any mention of the FLAME GIANTS. I really feel they were slighted! Somewhere, SURTUR is not happy!
9) A couple of the shots of THOR flying reminded me of the first SUPERMAN movie from 1980 in terms of the quality of the SFX.
11) The recent Marvel movies seem to be hewing closer to the ULTIMATE versions of the Marvel heroes than the original versions. This means that SHIELD plays a huge part in every origin story, and the origins of HULK and CAPTAIN AMERICA are forever linked. I liked the origins from the 1960s better, when you didn’t have SHIELD sticking their noses in everything. I mean, in the original THOR origin, the guy just finds his hammer in the forest. He didn’t have to break into a SHIELD base to get it back. Basically the Marvel Comics of the 60s were about ordinary people coming to grips with fantastic powers. The Marvel Comics of the Ultimate Universe are about a super-secret government agency learning of the existence of various super-powered individuals and finding ways to contain and control them. It was a lot more fun before the government got involved.
12) If Odin strips THOR of all his powers before banishing him to Earth, how come THOR is able to summon a storm when he sneaks into the SHIELD camp?
13) I like that Stan Lee’s character this time around is listed as “STAN THE MAN” in the credits.
14) I get that the filmmakers were trying to do a “King Arthur/Sword in the Stone” homage with Thor’s hammer, but really, it was not necessary to have the hammer embedded in the ground. The whole point of Thor’s hammer is that no one can lift it except Thor when he is at his most worthy. Rather than having people try to pry Thor’s hammer out from a rock, they could have just had people trying to pick the hammer up off the ground. (Remember, not even the HULK can lift THOR’s hammer off the ground!) Screenwriters think they are being clever when they take an old myth and try to tie it in to another myth. It’s not clever, it’s just lazy.
16) Thor overhears a trucker mention a fallen satellite in the desert and instantly knows this must be his hammer. Wha? Huh? How does Thor even know what a satellite is?
18) The bit about Natalie P. hitting Thor twice with her SUV was a little too cutesy. Once was enough.
19) I don’t think that even a de-powered THOR could be taken out by a taser gun. After all, he was still strong enough to be hit twice by a car and walk away unscathed.
20) Are SHIELD agents so dumb that they will release a dangerous prisoner to anyone who wanders into their camp with a fake driver’s license? Very sloppy plotting.
21) Why does Thor copy IRON MAN’s pose on the movie poster?
22) It’s always fun to sit through the end credits of a Marvel movie to get to the bonus scene, but why do the credits have to be so long? Sheesh, that was a long wait!
24) All in all, Marvel’s THOR is a fun movie, and a solid introduction to the character to those unfamiliar with him. Now that we got the origin out of the way, next time, we can see him spending a lot more time with his cape and hammer!
25) When the cast of the AVENGERS movie was announced last year, my thought at the time was: Other than Robert Downey Jr., the rest of the cast is very low in star-wattage. With the release of THOR, and the rise of Jeremy Renner’s profile after his role in Ben Affleck’s THE TOWN, suddenly the cast of the AVENGERS is looking more and more impressive. Will Chris “Captain America” Evans have what it takes to lead these guys in the AVENGERS? We’ll find out next summer!
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