THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF FACEBOOK

By Barry Dutter

1) When all your friends on Facebook are talking about something, and you have no real opinion about the topic, make sure you chime in anyway. It’s important for your voice to be heard, even when you have absolutely nothing to say.

2) If someone posts a comment that is the deepest, most profound thought you have ever read, but the post has a typo, do not comment on the message contained in the post; only comment on the typo.

3) If one of your friends posts a picture that is the most beautiful picture of them ever taken, and the pic was taken in their bedroom, do not comment on how great they look; comment only on the stuff you see in their bedroom in the background.

4) If someone goes on Facebook and says how much they love a new movie or TV show that you really hate, make sure you let your friend know how much you hate the thing they love. In this way, maybe you can help educate them that their opinion is wrong!

5) Always post a pic of every meal you eat. Otherwise, how will people know what you ate?

6) Always make sure to post exactly when you are going to bed each night, as this is important information that everyone in the world needs to know.

7) When commenting on one of your friends’ posts, do not read any of the other comments that are already there. Because your comment is the only one that really matters!

8) Always post about politics and religion, because those are fun topics that everyone loves to get into lively debates about.

9) Always reveal the endings of TV shows and movies that your Facebook friends haven’t seen yet --especially if you live on the East Coast. It is essential for you East Coasters to spoil any surprises for people who live on the West Coast, because people hate surprises!

10) Always click “Like” on your friends’ posts, even if don’t actually like them. In fact, you should click like even if you didn’t actually read the post, or read the article that was attached or watch the video. It’s just a gentle way of showing support for a friend.

And remember: No matter how deep your thoughts, no matter how wise your philosophy, nothing you post on Facebook will ever get as many “Likes” as a girl with big boobs taking a selfie in her bathroom mirror! :D